Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

Before I endeavour to regale you with my tales of woe, regular mishaps and general mayhem, I thought it best to explain where I am writing to you from.

I live in Pattaya, on the eastern seaboard of Thailand, with my wife Jin and my three children. My kids are Pakpao, my eighteen-year old step daughter, and my sons, Sam age eleven and James age five. My wife and I own a twenty-three room hotel called Jasmine Mansion, located in the centre of this vibrant tourist city, which we opened in October 2004. I moved here from London on a permanent basis in December of 2004.

I arrived here with thoughts of semi, if not permanent, retirement from day-to-day working and enjoying new pastimes with plenty of time to be with my children. Things did not quite go according to plan. In fact, they could not have been further distanced from the plan had they been part of the Challenger mission and sent to Mars. It was this deviation that led me to keep notes of the events that seemed to be plaguing my life and ultimately to write my book, Riff-Raffles.

Whilst the book may be finished, awaiting publication in June 2007, my life goes on and so do the events that see me clutching at the last remaining strands of hair on my head and tearing them from my scalp. It is these events that I will record for you here as and when they unfold. All of my stories are completely true and based on real events and although some exaggeration creeps in from time to time it is not to the degree that you may imagine. In fact, I have been accused by those that know me of actually ‘understating’ events rather than blowing them out of proportion!