The Failed Vacation, Part IV: Massage or Relief?
After a few songs from the singing sex sirens and more than a few bottles of Heineken it was necessary for me to avail myself of the gentlemen’s facilities. Mrs. Boss had gone to the ladies room, so in her absence I asked — in my mixture of Thai and English — our waitress for directions to the toilets. She told me in very good English to go through the double doors, at which she was pointing, up the stairs and through the door directly in front. Mrs. Boss returned and I set off on my quest for relief.
I went through the doors, up the stairs and through the door that was indeed there in front of me. I stood open mouthed and almost deafened by the screams that greeted me as over one hundred ladies whooped and hollered at my presence. Well if this was the gent’s toilets they should make a lot more like this one. Of course, this was not the toilet but a ‘massage’ parlour where girls waited eagerly for a customer and were, by all accounts, delighted to see a farang. I explained that not only was my need simply to use the toilet but also I had a ‘my wife’ downstairs and therefore alternative suggestions would have to be waived aside.
The girls, all of whom by now were having a mass fit of the giggles, pointed to another door and I duly went through. I was delighted to see several sparkling urinals in front of me. I stood and attended my business, rearranged myself and turned towards the wash hand basins. As I did so I was met by one hundred pairs of eyes peering through the glass wall to the side of the toilets which I had completely failed to notice upon entering. I exited to more whooping and hollering and even louder giggles. There were also several suggestions as to what five hundred baht could get me and were it not for Mrs. Boss being in such close proximity, I would have likely been more than just a little tempted.
The temptation was enhanced by the veritable bargain prices that were being banded about compared to the cost for one of the sirens from the downstairs bar. I have always hade an eye for a bargain but a bargain that could result in my becoming a post-op transsexual is one I thought it wise to pass up.
