The Failed Vacation, Part V: Underwater Vomiting
Shortly after my public urination, we returned to the hotel. The boys were fast asleep and Mrs. Boss and I were also soon to be in the land of dreams. We awoke reasonably early and Mrs. Boss was the first up and into the bathroom. Several minutes later she exited, telling me we were leaving and that she could not stay at this hotel. ‘The water is yellow,’ she told me and I checked and verified that the water into the sink, the bath and from the shower was indeed yellow. The thought of bathing in something that looked like urine did not appeal to me either so we all dressed, packed and checked out of the hotel.
We decided that we would return home, there really was no point looking for another hotel — spending the best part of a second day in the car with the boys constantly fighting in the back seat was something I was happy not to have to endure. On the journey back we stopped at several petrol stations with Mrs. Boss having something in mind she wanted to buy. She did not let on what this was, but whatever the item each petrol station store did not stock it. In all I counted eight visits to different petrol stations so through my short vacation I am now qualified to lecture anyone remotely interested in the pros and cons of petrol stations on the Rayong to Pattaya stretch of Sukhumvit Road. It would be riveting stuff I can assure you!
Having returned home we decided to spend the next day and a half taking Sam and James wherever they wanted to go. Given that we had nothing but bad experience on this mini-vacation to date, I should have seen this as a mistake in the making. We started by going bowling which lasted ten minutes before Sam dropped a bowling ball on his foot and limped out of the action with a trip to the hospital at least revealing nothing more than bruising.
Sam’s bandaged foot did not prevent him wanting to visit the Go-Kart track the following morning, but submarine racing would have been more appropriate with the entire surface at least a meter deep in water. Our next and final attempt at enjoyment was a visit to Underwater World — nothing, surely, could go wrong there. We purchased our tickets and I noted the normal order of things related to the dual pricing system was restored here, with my ticket twice the price of Jin’s. James added to the cost by proclaiming in his loudest voice and with admirable pride that he was now taller than the level at which children are admitted free of charge. Eight-hundred and forty baht paid, we walked in and were looking at fish for a full fifteen seconds before James decided to bring up the entire contents of his lunch. We left Underwater World as the staff commenced the clean up operations. I had spent approximately one thousand baht solely for the pleasure of watching my youngest son vomit!
Tired, exhausted, irritated and far from relaxed I have returned to work in a worse condition than when I left for my vacation.
