Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

It never rains but it pours, as the saying goes. This week it has been mainly raining staff. After several months of toiling with only the very minimum of staff to assist Mrs. Boss and I, this week has seen the stupendous total of seven new arrivals and staffing numbers up to a healthy total of ten. In addition we have three others who are on standby for a post at Jasmine Mansion should they be required. The only down side has been that our house maid has been forced to return to her village for an indeterminable period to try and resolve a few personal issues that have erupted in her family. I will therefore be forced once again to taking my clothes to the local launderette where, on average, three t-shirts and one pair of jeans will magically disappear every month.

My joy at the thought of not having to work sixteen hours a day seven days a week is tempered by the knowledge that inevitably several of our new recruits will have gone AWOL before the weekend is over. In addition it is certain that a few others will have to take enforced leaves of absence due to their sister being involved in a motorcycle accident. For those of you who have been paying attention to my ramblings you will already be aware that the “sister in a motorcycle accident” is the number-one excuse used here at the hotel for any unscheduled absence and nobody understand why I burst out laughing every time I hear this.

As for the new recruits, well, they have all recorded two consecutive days working which is promising and expensive — the latter being due to a one-thousand baht bet I had with Mrs. Boss that at least one would not return for day two of their employment. At least this long service situation has given me something to smile about. I was entering the staff names onto our computer system earlier today and was amused by the short names these newbies have. Nearly all Thai people have a short name or nickname as addressing each other by their given names would likely take longer than any conversation following an introduction. Anyway these nicknames seem to fit together quite well, we have a Pen and a Tip, there is a Wat and a Joy and, best of all, we have employed Yu and Tit.

My mood has been further heightened by several people having contacted me to say how good they have found my book to be. It was also quite an uplifting feeling on walking into a bookshop and seeing it on the shelves and I am now driving my family mad by entering every book shop we pass for no other reason than to see if my book is on display. I am sure this will pass and I will become ambivalent to my moment in the spotlight, but I am determined to enjoy it whilst it lasts. I have also been pleasantly surprised at the level of sales of the book from our hotel where we have nearly sold all of the fifty copies I received only one week ago. The best sale was to a person who had never read my stories and, in fact, had never been in to our hotel before. He simply came in to use the internet and on paying his thirty baht was accosted by Mrs. Boss thrusting a copy of Riff-Raffles in his face and getting him to part with three-hundred and ninety-five baht more than he had bargained for when first entering.

The black cloud of this particular week, there always has to be one doesn’t there, took the form of Pakpao, my stepdaughter, who is normally the apple of my eye — whatever that may mean. We had our problems a few years back, but they are well behind us now and her and I have been best of friends without so much as a bad word to each other for more than three years. She is due to go to University in a couple of weeks and I am immensely proud of her. She battled against the odds and succeeded where I know many would have failed.

The other day we arranged to go to the University with her and buy her books, uniform and find her decent lodgings. We had agreed to meet at the hotel at eight in the morning and make an early start for what was sure to be a long day. This was made worse by it being a holiday and, as such, traffic would be heavy in the mid to late afternoon. Jin, James and I were up early, bathed and dressed and arrived at the hotel just before the appointed hour. Pakpao is presently staying at the hotel as she is covering the evening shift to earn some money for herself so all that was required of her was to wash, dress and walk down two flights of stairs — she was nowhere to be seen. We called her room — no answer, we banged on her room door whilst trying not to create sufficient noise to wake out other guests — no answer. We were told she was most definitely in the room so continued phoning the room at regular intervals until eventually my daughter deigned to answer.

The initial call was responded to with a simple “I not going” and the phone being slammed down on Mrs. Boss. Now you do not slam the phone down on Mrs. Boss — even if you are her daughter — and expect to walk away unscathed. That just does not happen. After a few more calls and no small amount of shouting by Mrs. Boss, it transpired that our daughter had an argument with her partner and not only no longer wished to go to University but was, in fact, going to kill herself. Faced with such proclamations Mrs. Boss becomes steel and suggested her daughter get a bloody move on with her suicide so we can have the room cleaned and sold before the day is out. Sitting down for some tea and sympathy is not, as you may have guessed, in Mrs. Boss’s repertoire.

Having reached an obvious impasse I took to the telephone and called my daughter. I tried cajoling her into at least coming downstairs and talking to us but it was only the occasional sob from the other end of the line that convinced me I was not having a conversation with myself. We were now well over two hours past the time we should have been on our way and tempers were beginning to fray. Mrs. Boss was demanding we just get in the car and go but that seemed rather pointless to me as the only reason we were going anywhere was for Pakpao, who remained firmly locked in her room. Just quite what Mrs. Boss thought would be achieved by the rest of us driving away I had no idea, but instead of keeping this to myself openly I said as much to her. I was now in an argument with Mrs. Boss that was making little or no sense to me. Fortunately a burst of customers into the café allowed me an escape route and I scurried off to the kitchens to help the cook in dealing with a dozen plus simultaneous orders.

I returned to the lobby thirty minutes later but there was still no sign of Pakpao. I telephoned her once more, my patience now gone I demanded she get herself downstairs and ready to leave immediately. Twenty minutes elapsed before she eventually made her appearance and I beckoned everyone towards the doors and our car just beyond. My daughter then informed me she has forgotten her bag and had to return to her room to get it. I suggested she do so quickly which saw her trudge head bowed, shoulders slumped walk in the slow feet shuffling manner so perfected by Thai women when in a bit of a mood. If there were an Olympic 100 meters foot shuffling event then Thailand would be a favourite for the gold. Mrs. Boss, James and I then sat in the car and waited a full thirty minutes before Pakpao appeared. The appearance, however, was simply to open the door and tell us once more she was not going and no longer cared to attend University.

I reacted rather badly to this proclamation. I jumped out of the car and grabbed my daughter by the arm before she had time to shuffle back into the hotel. I started to march her down the street telling her as I did that if she was not going to continue her studies then she could get a job and I was going to find her employment immediately. A few grunts from her only made my resolve greater and we had gone fully twenty meters — with her moving quicker held in my grip than had been possible earlier – before she enquired as to where I was taking her. “Oasis Go-Go bar just along the street here, they have a sign outside saying that they need some new go-go dancers.” It took a few seconds for my words to register before she muttered something about not wanting to do that type of work. To this I responded that as she had decided not to use her brains she had little or no alternative but to use her body as a way of earning a living. Suffice it to say this threat was sufficient to see her agree to return to the car and give further thought to the merits of further education. To say I was relived by her response would be a huge understatement — I had no idea what I would have done had she agreed and continued with me to Oasis Go-Go bar!

The day drifted down hill further after my minor victory with my daughter. We were stuck in traffic within twenty minutes of leaving the hotel and by late afternoon were forced to abandon our plans to go to the University or look for lodgings. We succeeded only in buying Pakpao’s uniform plus a few stationary bits and pieces she would need. We then spent several hours returning to Pattaya eventually getting home seven hours after leaving — having spent six of those in the car. A revised date has been set by Mrs. Boss to complete this mission but I am now the one refusing to go!