Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

Wat Phra Thart Doi Suthep was a pleasant change from our zoological experiences in Chiang Mai. We left early in the morning and headed up the mountain range, which had been the view from out hotel room window for the past few days. Upon arrival at the foot of the temple we were informed the climb to the top was some three-hundred and three steps via the Naga stairway. Before I could even start to list several thousand reasons why I would not be making the ascent, Mrs. Boss advised that there was also cable-car access to the summit — we all got into the cable car even though I did tell the family not to be swayed by my decision! The views from the temple were quite spectacular and the cool morning breeze was very pleasant. I agreed to walk down the steps with the boys and Mrs. Boss and maintained this charade until we stood peering down at the descent. It was now I discovered that my ankle, broken some thirty years ago, had flared up. Unfortunately, once again, I would be forced to miss out on the joys of navigating the Naga stairway.

Every night took on a similar feel as, due to sheer exhaustion, we took to our beds almost immediately after dinner. This meant no looking at the night life of Chiang Mai such as it may be and, most unexpectedly, never making it to the Night Bazaar…ah! We had purchased a DVD player on our first day along with several DVDs. We would clamber into bed as a family and put on a DVD with the normal outcome being that all of us would be asleep prior to the selected movie even reaching its midpoint. I would the wake in the early morning hours and have to carry the boys to their beds and turn off the television. The plans for privacy that Mrs. Boss and I had been anticipating lay in tatters — like so many of my plans have since moving to Thailand.

We decided to fly back from Bangkok rather than endure the train journey again. Given that the hours of light would offer only views of Bangkok and its suburbs, any possible motive for opting for rail travel again was completely removed. At the airport we went for a meal in the main restaurant and I sat there thinking how incident free this trip had been and I felt a certain sadness about this. I was left with no tales of mayhem or disaster to report, no humorous anecdotes and a complete lack of stories relating to me making a complete fool of myself.

The waitress in the restaurant, however, saved the trip from being a total disaster from the story telling perspective. We had all placed our orders with the waitress when she enquired as to whether we required anything from the specials menu. We had not seen this menu so she quickly took a couple of these menus from adjacent tables, handing one to Mrs. Boss and the other to me. This was a short menu of five dishes and Mrs. Boss was immediately heard to be ordering the shrimp spring rolls, only to be told they were not available. I ordered the fried rice with scallops, being a dish I had not seen here before, and discovered I would still not be seeing it as that too was unavailable. Sam had read the menu I was holding and requested macaroni and cheese — also unavailable! Whilst I had no interest in either of the remaining dishes, my curiosity was sufficiently piqued to enquire as to whether they were still available. As you may have guessed by now, the answer was in the negative. I should know better. I know I should know better, but I still had to enquire, “Why did you give us the specials menu when none of the items on it are available?” The reply was exactly as one would expect: “Boss tell me ask every customer if they want order from specials menu.” Only in Thailand, only in Thailand I repeated to myself yet again.