The Animal Mishaps Continue
“Come on get up, I have just seen a lovely dog at the market I want to buy.” These were the words I was woken up to this Pattaya morning by Mrs. Boss, who had been up and out at 6:00AM to do the hotels grocery shopping. I am not at my most erudite when woken, but the audience had already departed the scene and I was left to scramble out of bed and into the shower. I eventually made it downstairs and made myself a coffee before looking at a clock. It was 7:30AM — far too early for me to be contemplating the day ahead and the news of purchasing a dog had most certainly not registered with me.
As I boarded the car and we headed towards the market, I realized that Mrs. Boss was serious. We were off to purchase a dog — despite the clear and evident knowledge that our youngest son is allergic to dogs. James is my wife’s pride and joy. She adores children up to the age of about ten and then, as soon as they start to think for themselves, she tends to let them loose. Sam reached this stage a year ago so all of her love is saved for James. So what on Earth was she thinking about now? How on Earth could James and a dog inhabit the same living space? I understood that the dog would live outside, but, as is my experience of animals, they always make a beeline directly for the people that least want a beeline made in their direction. Perhaps Mrs. Boss had hatched a cunning plan that would see James and a dog thrive in a similar environment, but even were it not very early in the morning such a plan would still be miles away from my consciousness.
We went off to the market and to the pet stall there. A cluster of puppies, some only a few days old, lay around in cages. There were a couple of Rottweiler puppies aged six weeks and one of them was most certainly cute. Being in a small cage all day, every day, for most of his young life meant that he was not exactly active, but at least he managed to stand up and lick away at my hand. A few years time and he will have that bitten down to the bone, I thought to myself. As I toyed with the dog, Mrs. Boss spoke to the owner of the stall and the next thing I knew she was pressing 5,000 baht into his hand and we were getting a certificate detailing injections given and injections to be done. We had, so it appeared, acquired a dog.
As we journeyed home I enquired as to why Mrs. Boss had decided to buy a dog. “James is allergic to dogs and you know that,” I suggested. “We will just see how things go and if the dog gives James a problem we will just get rid of him,” she replied. “Get rid of our son? A bit heartless that, isn’t it?” I chided. Unfortunately sarcasm is not something that fits Mrs. Boss and whilst giving the impression she does not understand what on Earth I am saying, I know she is simply ignoring my inane remark. “Still though, a bit daft getting a dog really. I mean James will suffer, we will all become fond of the animal and then we have to find a new home for it,” I reasoned. Mrs. Boss dismissed my thoughts and suggested that if it were kept outside then James may not suffer any allergic reaction.
Within 24 hours James was coughing and spluttering, soon the cough reached his chest and he was taken off to the hospital. Rather unsurprisingly the doctors prognosis was that James was suffering a severe allergic reaction to, er, a dog!
We returned home from the hospital and our first plan was now to think of what to do with the dog, Hiphop as he had been named by Sam. Our first plan, however, had to be put on hold as our rabbit numbers had reduced again down to one with the sudden death of the larger rabbit who had survived the two previous thefts. Three rabbits down in two weeks and one dog on the way out after a fortnight. Fortunately, zoo manager was never of my list of career options…then neither was hotel owner!
Various plans to carve up the garden into James zones and dog zones were considered, although only by Mrs. Boss, as again I was well ahead of the game here. No such plan would work and the dog would be able to jump over any fencing erected within a matter of a few months. Mrs. Boss made a few phone calls to friends, but none of them were overly keen to become parents to a young Rottweiler, however sweet he presently may be. Eventually a neighbour indicated that they would be interested in taking the dog — for free of course — and with the lack of alternatives a deal was done. The ‘deal’ was that they would take the dog, the expensive and rather large dog house we had purchased, any spare food and all of the doggy paraphernalia that we had gathered in a few short weeks. In addition, we would remain liable for all medical treatment, vet bills and so forth for a period of six months — shit these people may as well have said, “Oh and we’ll have your house as well.”
As Mrs. Boss returned home to impart the news of this deal, she noticed that our last remaining rabbit was missing. A thorough search of the garden and all possible hiding places ensued (why a rabbit would hide is beyond me) yet yielded nothing. Four weeks and four rabbits gone, and now after only three weeks the dog was being evicted as well.
People have recently commented that I appear to be in an even grumpier mood than usual — well if you had just spent over 20,000 baht on animals, all of whom had gone inside one month, then you may be a little testy as well!
