Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

Although it appeared to be a slow start to the month it was a situation I was grateful for. February appeared to see us scampering from one rock to the next in an attempt to avoid being drowned by the sea of lies that flowed towards us in a Tsunami-like fashion. Slow, quiet, non-descript — yes I would happily live with these descriptions of my life in Pattaya.

What I have come to realise is that over the last few months, incidents related to poor form on the part of our guests have abated considerably. It was, at one time, an almost constant nightmare dealing with the cerebrally challenged who stayed with us here at Jasmine Mansion. Although the odd complete plonker slips through the net, in the main we have an established base of fully house-trained visitors, most of whom are returning customers back for their second or subsequent visits.

The boys are coming to the end of their present academic year and that, of course, throws a few more problems the way of Mrs. Boss and I. Last year was a nightmare as they spent the entire two months at home, we were very short of staff and at every turn one appeared to be tripping over one’s children. I understand completely that they were bored and really desired nothing more than some time being taken on a day trip or two by their parents. However, time was not something we had on offer twelve months ago so they either moped around the house or, worse, still moped around the mansion!

This year we have decided that both boys will spend half their vacation at summer school. With James starting at Assumption School in May, having a month there beforehand to help him acclimatise to his new surroundings is not a bad thing. Sam went through the same process two years ago and I know it helped him once the school year got underway. As for Sam, well, we are thinking that he can do something he wants rather than have us impose a short educational curriculum on him. He mentioned a desire to go to a music school and stay with his sister in Bangkok. There is a music school only 200 meters from where she lives but, however much I may love my daughter, she is only just finding her own feet and I would suggest that after two or three days she would have had more than enough of caring for her younger brother. I therefore said no. This induced Sam into one of his momentary fits of temper, a stomp up the stairs and loud slamming of his bedroom door all of which was duly ignored by both Mrs. Boss and me. A few hours later he was back downstairs and talking about some more realistic options, which Mrs. Boss is now investigating.

My friend Peter arrived in Thailand from Baltimore, Maryland, USA, the other day and his girlfriend, Angela, is due to make her debut appearance in the Land of Smiles in one week’s time. Peter, together with another friend of mine, Mark, and I enjoyed a few beers on Peter’s first day here. Well…to be precise we arrived at the first bar around 3:00PM and back at Jasmine Mansion sometime after midnight. A few beers would be more properly described as well over 20! It took me the best part of two days to fully recover and I believe I am now at the point of having to take three days to recover from one of my few, but enjoyable, lengthy sessions out on the town. The last few days have been social non-events and Peter left to his own devices, a situation which Peter is not unhappy with.

So, as I said at the beginning of this particular tale, March had appeared to start relatively quietly. With Rung and Dan having left our employ, we were again short of staff, but worse was to follow. Jed, recently promoted to the lofty heights of hotel manager, decided that instead of implementing some of our proposals using the diplomatic skills he displays when dealing with customers, he would employ the already tried and seriously failed method of shouting at the staff. Out of the blue we were witness to a side of Jed hitherto before unseen. It would have been altogether far better had this particular aspect of his character remained unobserved by us forever. The upshot was a few hysterical ladies who took to crying and stomping off to the kitchen in the way my 12-year old had stomped off to his bedroom only a day or so before. This was shortly followed by the stomping manouvre being undertaken by Jed — straight out of the door and to his home, never to return! The really odd thing about this is that Jed has now become yet another in the long line of those appointed manager of Jasmine Mansion whom have left within two weeks of their appointment — I believe the figure now stands at six in total. Therefore being our hotel manager has to be viewed as something of a poisoned chalice!

On the plus side we have employed a new cook, a young man by the name of Chin, who has plenty of prior experience in working for Western-style restaurants. He has come here armed with a menu from his last place of employment and requested that Mrs. Boss and I select any additional dishes from this that we want to add to our menu. Although delighted to undertake this, I am being somewhat cautious at the moment. Although completely mad, at least Rung was here for close to two years. Before her we had a litany of day trippers stopping by to undertake the cooking duties before disappearing into the sunset. It is therefore likely to take me some time before I am convinced that Chin is with us for the long haul. My real hope is that he does not saddle us with a brand new menu and then immediately disappear into the sunset. I appreciate that this is a rather pessimistic outlook, however, Thailand continues in its inexorable march towards knocking the last vestiges of positivism out of me!

So the month has started all quiet and peacefully and I am happy with that. I know await the next nightmare scenario and know that it cannot be too long in coming — after all, “This Is Thailand!”