Different Than How I Thought it Would Be
The low season has now started to take hold and Pattaya appears to be quieter than I can ever recall. However, this is something all business owners tend to say year in and year out and it will likely be no better or worse than previous years.
On the other hand my marriage, presently going through its death throws, is giving me almost daily difficulties and simply getting up in the morning is tough. I am sure any of you who have been through a divorce, both male and female, will know it is a very isolated road with fear of what may happen lurking in every alley.
I have to concede that I have been a fool. The problem is you only tend to find out your foolishness once the act has been committed! I, however, had thought myself smarter than to be in the position I presently find myself. I thought my life here was going to be so different from the way it has turned out and, most importantly, I truly believed my marriage was impenetrable. Had I not believed in the strength of my marriage it is certain I would not have agreed to have the hotel, our house, the land we have purchased here and our land in Udon Thani all put in my wife’s name. If there is a saving grace, I am afraid at present it eludes me!
A recent trip to see my solicitor actually saw him in a considerably more positive frame of mind than was the case at our first encounter. I had been able to get a few documents together and the developers of the hotel had called him to confirm they were able to write a letter stating that I, and not Mrs. Boss, was the purchaser of the hotel. I also had all of my Thai bank statement for the past three-plus years and the withdrawals tied in with payments for the loan we had on buying the hotel buildings.
My solicitor decided it was now time to call in Mrs. Boss and commence negotiations with her. I told him at length the danger he would be facing and asked him to measure his words before letting them fall from his mouth. If you are going to get into the water and it is already full of hungry sharks then make sure you have a plan for getting out alive. He smiled and I shuddered. He obviously thought that I was talking about a mere Thai woman who would fall supine at his feet the moment he spoke.
Two days after my visit, the solicitor called to tell me he had spoken with Mrs. Boss. In fact, he admitted that he had introduced himself but managed to get no further before some screaming lunatic almost deafened him and he was unable to get in another word before the phone was closed on him. We decided that the time for hard action had arrived and the lawyer was now going to put our case in writing to Mrs. Boss. He would give her 15 days in which to respond, arrange a meeting and, hopefully, discuss our situation with a view to reaching a settlement. Failure to make contact within the 15-day period would result in the case going to court and this was really not going to benefit either of us. In, what I have taken to be her distressed state of mind, it is likely though that Mrs. Boss will not be able to see the wood for the trees due to the permanent red mist running across her eyes.
I have been reading your trials and tribulations with interest. I hope that all eventually works out for you. Your site is a very good read of the life of a farang in Thailand. I hope the settlement is more than fair for you when eventually worked out and that the new business adventure is a success.
Good luck mate.
Thanks JB,
Nobody knows what will happen in court so all one can do is cross their fingers and hope for the best.
My present problems are minute though when compared to a friend of mine. His girlfriends son (in his twenties) goes for sentencing today after being found guilty of vehicular manslaughter. He and his girlfriend were going home after a night out, he was proven to be sober, he lost control of the car which hit a tree and she died at the scene. The sentence could be anything from doing time in prison to community service but his whole future life hangs in the balance of that decision today.
Yes, we all have problems and as you put it, there are always others facing things a lot worse than us. No matter what happens in court you can always start again, it could be harder but life is too short to dwell.
I hope you get your deserved share and you can prosper in what ever you do.
HI HANSOMMAN IF YOU NOT STOP COMMENT ABOUT ME WHAT YOU WANT??? YOU ARE JUT WORK AWAYS FROM ME I HAVE 10 BILLIN BAHT TO PAID BACK TO THE BANK!!!! I HAVE 1 GILL 2 BOYS TO TAKE CARE THAT MORE PROBLEM TO ME !!!! NOW YOU STAY WITH SOMBODY YOU HAVE NEW FAMMLIY WHAT YOU WANT??? NOT ONLY YOUR HERE NO GROW UP NOW IT YOUR BRAND LOOK AT YOUR THINK YOU ARE MAD
Dear Rose,
You have ALL the income though!
WE need to sell something, reorganise the loans and so forth and I have been saying this for some considerable time. However, you will not talk to me but you simply shout, scream and have a temper tantrum - even your messages here are ’shouting’! I cannot therefore do anything but move away and wait for you to become normal and sane enough to start an open discussion.
I do not know you but recently stayed at Jasmine Mansion (perhaps my timing was awkward to say the least).I got a good read on “mrs. boss” however and could see what a tough unfriendly woman she was. For you to put everything in her name was extremely naive.. I suspect she schemed this all from the start. I have read your book and you seem to always hold her in awe… something I am sure she could could pick up on. As the Thai’s say… “som nom na” you were obviously madly in love at the time, I have to feel for you in that regard. Just another unwitting victim to unscrupulous Thai women, I wish you well in the future I learned my lesson the hard way, (actually not that hard) I would have gladly imparted some invaluable advice. Best wishes Darren from Australia
Hi Darren,
Thanks for the good wishes. Actually I have detailed in my wring and a couple of times on the Blog in response to how the present situation arose. I was in love, yes that is certainly true, but most certainly not in awe of her. Actually it matters not where a girl you marry comes from - after seven years of marriage numerous relationships fail and very many much before that length of time.
I have admitted that I was naive but a victim of circumstances also. However, I cannot change my past but merely try to shape my future.
Finally I may be totally wrong but I do not believe this was Mrs. Boss’s plan from Day One especially as we lived in England and were not planning a business of this nature in Thailand nor to move here for several years to come. Just circumstances I believe!
Anyway, all the best to you.
Regards,
Kevin
Hi Kevin. You’ll remember me as a long term guest from a couple of years ago. I was in Pattaya this week and heard about your woes and was quite shocked. I know this sort of thing has hapened to countless ‘naive’ farangs in the past but to see it happen to someone as level headed and street wise in businsess as you means that no one is safe.
What are you doing now?
Good wishes for the future.
Steve
Hi Steve,
Let me set the record straight. Mrs Boss and I have been married over seven years. Something went wrong, who knows what it was but working together surely didn’t help! I have only been married once before - that was in my early twenties - and it lasted four year (I still do not know how!
People get divorced after a few months or a year or so. Mrs. Boss and I at least gave it a good run but we were unable to sustain our relationship - it has bugger all to do with her being Thai and me a being here in Thailand is going to be interesting to say the least -intersting from the outsiders perspective rather than mine though!!
Anyway Steve, thanks for your thoughts and remember: not all Thai women are whores, some actually are……………………..
Cheers,
Kevin
Hi Kevin,
Roddy and I stayed with you last February/March and could both see the difficulties facing you.
You are a decent fellow trying to do the best for your family but the unpleasantness displayed to both staff and guests by Mrs Boss made your life so difficult. I vividly remember her writing ‘SHIT’ across the record of restaurant takings. Even I was angry because I could see how your efforts were being undermined.
I truly wish you well and will pop in to see you when I come back to LOS in February. I might be persuaded to buy you a beer.
Dear Richard,
Thanks for the message and good luck to both yourself and Roddy. I look forward to hearing when you are back in town.
regards,
Kevin
Hi Kevin,
Reading all this is a little sad, you are a top bloke and I hope it all works out well for you and the kids.
Pete
Thanks Pete, I doubt I am a ‘top’ bloke in the wife’s eyes, more likely a ‘bloke to be topped!’ Will write to you separately though!
Hi Kevin,
I only found your site yesterday when a friend in the UK sent me an email with a link to it. Having spent a couple of hours on it today and with my similar experiences in Thailand, I think that I get the overall picture now.
So now, welcome to the world of self-confessed fools in Thailand, it does help when you can admit it to yourself and others openly.
Looking on the bright side of your situation, at least you still have two legs :-))
I hope that things work out reasonably for you.
Cheers
Legless Fool
Dear Legless,
I suppose it takes one to know one!! Thanks for your thoughts and comments and I look forward to hearing from you again. Just as a p.s. apologies for the delay in replying but site admin takes a few weeks off over the festive season - lucky blighter!!
Best Regards,
Kevin
HAPPY NEW YEAR KEVIN AND A LONG TIME SINCE I LAST MADE COMMENT BUT NOTICE THAT ITS BEEN QUIET WITH YOU DITTO. I THINK ABOUT YOUR SITUATION SOMETIMES AND CANT HELP FEELING THAT ITS A NATURAL COURSE, PERHAPS WE ALL - THOSE TAINTED BY THE LAND OF SMILES THAT IS - EVENTUALLY FIND OURSELVES IN YOUR BOAT. THE ONLY WAY MAYBE WOULD BE TO ABSTAIN I GUESS AND IF THAT WERE THE CASE THEN WOULD WE FIND OURSELVES HALF WAY ROUND THE WORLD, WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER PLACES CLOSER TO HOME TO VISIT, INCLUDING THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE. RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN ON A DIFERENT JOURNEY WITH MYSELF THAT IS AS THIS YEAR BECAUSE OF THE ECONOMIC UPHEVAL EVERYWHERE AND THE POOR PERFORMANCE OF THE POUND COMING TO THAILAND IS A NO NO. BEING IN THE WILDERNESS SOMETIMES ISN’T SO BAD AND WE AINT GETTING ANY YOUNGER!! SO I THOUGHT I WOULD SAVE MY ENERGY UNTIL THE QUIETER MONTHS. SORRY ABOUT MY RAMBLINGS. ONTO YOU WHERE ARE YOU IN YOURSELF AND HOW IS BUSINESS THESE DYAS WITH YOUR RESTAURANT AND THE JASMINE MANSION - DO YOU STILL VISIT AND WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR EX AND CO LIKE - SORRY FOR BEING NOSEY SO IGNORE ME IF YOU ARE MORE SECRETIVE ABOUT EVENTS THESE DAYS. JUST THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE CONTACT AND WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Hi Melvin,
Happy New Year.
I am fine and the Fish and Chip Shop is now starting to do well despite the global recession, strength of the Thai Baht and, of course, Thailand shooting itself in the foot tourism wise on an alarmingly regular basis!!
The divorce will become a listed case this week or next and hen it is a wait of up to 12 monhs before it goes to court!! I have not been to Jasmine for a month although I still do the e-mail bookings etc. Jin is no nearer trying to resolve issues with me directly although it will be a lot worse for her if it goes to court than I am prepared to offer her.
Anyway living here is not so bad and I prefer it to the U.K!! Anyway I look forward to hearing from you when you are next on your way to LOS.
Best Wishes,
Kevin