Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

I have lost count of the number of times I have said “this is the worst week I have ever experienced here in Thailand.” Perhaps some avid reader of mine, if there is such a beast, is keeping track — if so please, please tell me how many times it is now. It seems to me like a phrase I trot out a couple of times a month, but if nothing else, it shows the degree of difficulty involved in trying to run a business when you have to employ these damned people. However, regardless of the possible over-usage of the phrase, here I am employing it yet again. The really worrying thing is that I think it can get even worse and very probably will.

I started August with enough staff for this time of the year, these being: a chef, two room maids, a night receptionist and two daytime receptionists who double as waitresses when the need calls. A little lightweight were we in the previous high season, but fine for now and only requiring me to provide some surplus cover when days off come around.

The less staff the better anyway I had often thought. This was due to the regular temper tantrums Mrs. Boss had been throwing over the past few months. It did not occur to her that shouting like a rabid maniac at me in front of hotel guests and staff alike may actually damage the business. To be truthful, there is not much that occurs to Mrs. Boss other than the need to get louder with every sentence when she is in one of these moods. However, we had experienced a week of serenity, with Mrs. Boss and I actually talking without shouting or my having things thrown at me. The reason for this change of tack was, I am certain, a result of Mrs. Boss having spent a weekend as a novice monk in a nearby temple. Most women who go on such a retreat spend two weeks, at least, at the temple. However, I guess the monks had heard of Mrs. Boss’ reputation and thought it safer to keep the stay to a minimum. Anyway, her return heralded a complete change of attitude and in one moment of weakness I actually started to believe we may be able to sit down and agree our separation with a spirit approaching goodwill. Unfortunately the moment passed and it was shortly followed by the peace loving Mrs. Boss being replaced by the war monger I have become far more accustomed to.

For no reason, as if anything is for a reason, Monday afternoon saw Mrs. Boss screaming and shouting at me in the manner she had been the week before last. There really is no rhyme or reason for what she is saying, very little makes any sense and the bits I do understand have been aired so many times now I find them rather tedious. I therefore pay little or no attention to the words and glance up occasionally to look upon the face of the person who is abusing me. Her features are contorted, the woman scorned, although the truth is I have never actually scorned anyone!

This most recent tirade occurred on pay day. We pay the staff twice a month which, among other benefits, includes the positive effect of reducing the number of requests we get for salary advances. Mrs. Boss duly dolled out the cash and continued her torrent of abuse with ease. Women, I have come to believe, are capable of doing several things at the same time although, it has to be said, without doing any of them particularly well!

The next morning saw the fruits of Mrs. Boss’s previous day’s behaviour ripen to perfection. No cook, no reception staff, a note from the night receptionist saying he would not be returning and only one of our two room maids showed up. Mrs. Boss had successfully rid us of over 90 percent of our staff in only a matter of hours — it must be a record.

I was now cooking, tending reception, waiting tables and feeling so much better having just received the news that I would also be working the night shift! For her part Mrs. Boss was unable to offer much in the way of assistance. It appeared a split-end had appeared on one of the strands of her hair and an emergency hairdressing appointment was called for. This, I discovered, was to be followed by a relaxing massage to provide her with the necessary get up and go…to bed.

I managed to cajole, by way of offering a free meal, a friend to stand in for me for an hour or so whilst I visited the local employment exchange. My staff requirements almost doubled their present listings and I implored them to place the adverts in the shop window and on the Internet that very day.

The following morning I received several telephone calls from prospective employees and undertook interviews that afternoon. My interviewing technique was somewhat poorer than usual given that by this time I had not been to bed for almost 36 hours but I needed the staff and forced myself to at least try and focus on the candidates. By 6:00PM I had hired a cook who started immediately and prepared me a wonderful meal which I hardly did justice to. He familiarized himself with the kitchen and would be returning the following morning. Two receptionists were taken on with one starting in three days time and the other in one week. Further good news followed when an ex-employee popped in to say hello and was immediately re-employed for one week to cover the night shift. He returned a few hours later and soon I was in my bed — out for a full 12 hours.

The next morning I telephoned the receptionist who was now due to start in two days time and implored her to come in tomorrow. To my surprise and delight she agreed — things were already looking better. I suppose this is the trade off here in Thailand when it comes to staff. They may have no sense of loyalty or duty, but then there are still hundreds out there to replace them. I remember in my early days here, being in awe of the number of artisans readily available to undertake carpentry, tiling, plumbing, electrical wiring, install or repair air conditioners, in fact, anything you needed doing. Obviously it was not long before I realised they were all, to a man, bloody useless but that is what happens when nobody gets any proper training. In life, I have learned, there is always a trade!

A few more days and a few more staff were recruited. Before I knew it we again had a full compliment of staff, all of whom were managing to turn up for work on time and were giving the impression of being keen and eager. I spent the daytime training them and returning to my bed very early evening — the close to 40-hour stint had taken its toll. I have also been blessed by another temporary respite from Mrs. Boss’s tirades although Vesuvius is likely to erupt again at any moment!