Days in the Life of a Pattaya Hotel Owner

[Original written by Kevin Meacher on August 30, 2008 -- Blog Janitor]

Well, as predicted Vesuvius did indeed erupt again. It appeared to me as though this time it was destined to cover me and all around me in its boiling molten lava, easily forcing its way through any cover I may choose as protection.

Again there was no reason and also no warning of the latest in this long and tedious series of outbursts from Mrs. Boss. The only thing I keep thinking is how long can someone keep this up? Surely they must tire of trotting out the same old phrases and realise their impact on the intended victim is having an ever reduced effect. Unfortunately whilst the effect on me may be limited, the effect on staff members remain as bitter body-blows and another mass walkout in a few days time would not surprise me.

I therefore took the tough and painful decision to leave the hotel and find somewhere else to live. My friend Mark has an apartment in East Pattaya, known as the dark side, and its budget price suits my presently limited financial resources. A visit to the apartment block determined that they had a couple of rooms available and I unhesitatingly paid the deposit, I would move in after the weekend. It was going to be tough to move completely away from my business and even tougher to live away from my children but this was the correct decision and I knew I must not weaken.

I explained to James on the Sunday night that I was moving somewhere else so as not to be “fighting with mummy” all of the time. He fully understood what I was doing and my reasons for doing it, although this did not prevent him sulking and refusing to even say goodnight to me. However, in the morning as I got him up and dressed and took him down to meet his school bus he was back to his normal self and at least I would depart in a good frame of mind.

By lunchtime on Monday I was moved in, unpacked and had been out to the shops for my basic provisions. I was also ready to go out and drink far too much to celebrate my freedom and endeavour to form a plan for the future months whilst the divorce rolled inexorably towards a conclusion.

Mark and I toured a few bars and he politely listened to my recent tales of woe. Poor Mark…poor anyone who has been forced to sit and listen to my constant whinging over the last four or five months…in fact, poor you! However, somewhere around the tenth bottle of Heineken a light came on in my head and a business idea formed. Of course, the idea was a little fuzzy and needed to sober itself up before it became a plan but it was an idea nonetheless. More than that though it was also something that appealed to Mark, he ran with the ball and turned the thought into the semblance of a plan.

The most unusual part of the drink sodden plan of the night before was that it remained as interesting and as viable the following day. As you will all be aware the plans seen through the bottom of a beer bottle, almost always, look like a turkey the moment sobriety arrives. Not only did this plan in no way resemble a turkey but it was giving a very good impression of a ‘Golden Goose’! No, it was not something likely to make us millionaires, even in Zimbabwean ???????, but it was something that between us we could afford and would likely give me an income over the next year or so whilst awaiting my divorce settlement.

Our first need was shop premises. We immediately hired a car and driver and toured our selected area in a search for premises — now how intrepid is that? We came across a few possibilities and more than a few non-starters. Five hours of searching had thrown up little in the way of a real contender however and thoughts that we may even fall at the first hurdle started to creep into my, these days, somewhat negative thinking.

We were nearing the end of the day and dusk was only thirty or so minutes off when we walked out of another not acceptable premises — this one because the owner wanted three times the going rate as rent for shop premises exactly the same as all of the others. I wandered up the road as Mark bade his farewell to the owner and within a couple of minutes had come across three new shop developments all adjacent to one another. The shops were all closing with workmen preparing to go home but nonetheless prepared to allow Mark and me to wander around. We had a particular favourite and telephoned the owners. There reply saved the day in that the rent was incredibly low, they were prepared to offer whatever lease length we wanted and works would be completed in only a couple more weeks.

We returned home buoyed by the news and the thought we had find a diamond amongst the rubble. However, ‘This is Thailand’ and soon we were both sitting a doubting that anything the owner had said was true — or even that the person we had spoken to was even remotely connected to the building! We soon put these thoughts away though as we had arranged to meet the ‘owner’ the very next day so all would be revealed in no time at all. We returned to positive thoughts of our find!

The owner had been telling the truth and was also the owner! A nine-year lease, the rent the same as we had been told over the telephone and confirmation of when the works would be completed were all music to our ears. I seriously doubted that the works would be completed when indicated, however, this was not a major issue as we had now plenty of other matters to concentrate on to turn our plan into a reality.

We started preparing a rough business plan and soon realised that neither of us actually had even the slightest experience in the business venture we were about to embark upon. We may have little money right now but if we get this wrong in six months time we will not have a dime between us! Prior experiences had taught me that shopping for major supplies in Pattaya was a waste of time and that in Bangkok prices were often as much as 20 percent lower. We still undertook the tour of Pattaya’s suppliers to get a feel for the prices that would be used as a benchmark once we reached the capital. As it turned out we were already looking at being below out initially estimated costs.

Things were looking good, everything was falling nicely into place and the thought that something originating in the bottom of a beer bottle may actually breathe new life into me was formed. It was the ‘Heineken Big Bang’ theory and did not cost several billion dollars to reconstruct! So enthusiastic were we about our progress to date we decided to put our trip to Bangkok on the back burner and, instead, have a few days holiday in Hua Hin!